


Love, but not so much falling

by wherethefrickismyblackwidowmovie



Series: Winterfalcon Ficlets [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Falling In Love, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, silliness and fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-19 21:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19980751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wherethefrickismyblackwidowmovie/pseuds/wherethefrickismyblackwidowmovie
Summary: It was just one of those things. Sam starting dragging Bucky along with him when he got food. Coffee. Ice cream on a hot day.





	Love, but not so much falling

It was just one of those things. Sam starting dragging Bucky along with him when he got food. Coffee. Ice cream on a hot day. Made fun of Bucky for always getting rum raisin, with that smile on his face and that crinkle around his eyes like, for a moment, he wasn’t carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. They fell into a pattern. It was strange with Steve gone and they found comfort in each other. At least Bucky knew he did, and he learned Steve wasn’t the first empty space in Sam’s life–that just like Steve, Sam had kept up a tough exterior for so long it was hard to put it down.

But Sam started talking about Riley sometimes. He put up an old photo in their apartment, which definitely made it seem less like a safe house and more like a place they actually lived. It made Bucky wonder about how Sam had loved Riley, and how love could be between two men in a way it hadn’t been when Bucky was growing up. 

Some nights it was just about getting home in one piece. When Sam got injured, joking through the pain he didn’t have enough superpowers for this shit, Bucky was there to try to make him rest. That was a losing battle, because Sam didn’t like to be taken out of a fight. Some nights it was about forgetting they’d ever had to limp back to their apartment, covered in blood and bruises, holding each other up. Forgetting about how fighting made pain flare up in Bucky’s shoulder. Forgetting about…the rest of it.

It was a world away from the cold nightmares and terror and grappling with a memory like a landscape in fog–to sit and hear Sam’s laugh in the hot Virginia sun out by the lake where they liked to go to hang out, just the two of them. Out there, everything was in sharper color. It was easier somehow. They teased each other and play-fought about stupid things and nearly capsized the boat many more times than they’d admit to anyone. Sam called Bucky lots of nicknames, but Bucky’s favorite was “Summer Soldier.”

Bucky felt something deep in chest beginning to relax. Love was not so much falling as the feeling of stepping into a warm room where the light is soft and voices are low and you know you’re headed home. Slower and less terrifying than free-fall but the destination feels just as sure. 

He told Sam once as an aside that he’d never had his shoulder bother him when they were out on the water. Sam practically made it into a competition. Whenever they were planning to go out on the water, he insisted that Bucky do his stretches, then motioned Bucky over so he could sit on the floor with his back against the couch between Sam’s legs. Sam would hold an ice pack to his scar tissue, teasing him they better not break their good streak and that he needed Bucky to be relaxed before he roasted him. Bucky roasted Sam back. And to both of their credit, they only had a play-fight with ice cubes once that ended with them both drenched in ice water, shivering through laughter, Sam threatening revenge if Bucky put his cold metal hand on Sam’s leg one more time.

So out on the water it was always golden hour, with no memories of pain. No responsibility. Very little talk of superheroing in general. But when Bucky joked that Sam should redesign his suit with red spandex, and drew a mock up on a napkin from their takeout lunch, it made Sam laugh so hard he actually cried on their noodles, which had somehow miraculously managed not to get wet until now. Sam weakly punched Bucky in the (good) shoulder. And when his hand lingered there for a moment longer than usual, Bucky tried to burn that one, just that one moment, into his memory for safe keeping.

It was when Bucky got dragged along to Sam’s mom’s house to meet her and Sam’s sisters, and they ate a huge home cooked meal, and Etta James was on the old record player, and Sam’s mom was talking with Sam in a quiet voice in the kitchen asking if he’d been all right, and so Bucky’s thoughts drifted to the music. He felt like Etta James was telling him specifically: you’d rather go blind than see this man walk away from you. It made him feel old that so many people had lived and fallen in love and written love songs in that vast and yet short part of his life spanning decades. That moment of soft music and muted voices stuck with him.

Bucky knew now that it wasn’t his fault the past was clinging so hard to him, refusing to let go. But he also knew he had something to hold onto here, in the present or future even. It was a handhold, but that was all he needed. 

It was later while finishing off the pie Sam’s mom had insisted they take home, that Bucky took the jump–entwined his fingers with Sam’s and felt the warmth begin to build where they connected. It made his own heart leap. Sam only looked quizzical for a moment before realization and a beautiful smile slid onto his face. 

It was the easiest thing in the world when Sam leaned in to kiss him. Bucky met him with just as much heat, pulling one of Sam’s legs onto his lap, making them fall in a clumsy messy tangle of limbs on the couch, and eventually Sam got enough breath to mutter “son of a _bitch_.” They completely forgot about the pie. 

**Author's Note:**

> Bucky was drawing Sam's outfit in the comics, [either the one with the extreme V-neck or the one with the side boob](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CAFA_enUS650US666&biw=1366&bih=625&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=_nM6XZnpBc_j_AaIjI-gBQ&q=sam+wilson+comics+red+redwing&oq=sam+wilson+comics+red+redwing&gs_l=img.3...11649.12142..12298...0.0..0.71.259.4......0....1..gws-wiz-img.gJrynQdHDNY&ved=0ahUKEwiZ4J_j0tHjAhXPMd8KHQjGA1QQ4dUDCAY&uact=5#imgrc=_) :p


End file.
